Recently, Spot has given several interviews for the good of mankind. Read them and be enlightened.
Capital Punishment: No cat shall be put to sleep without due process of law. The test of innocence is by "trial by dunking". If the cat drowns when dunked in tar, it will get life in the pound. If it survives, the cat will be put to sleep.
Cradle to grave life insurance: Government provided insurance provide reproductive services (spade or neuter all creatures without papers to control population explosion and to protect the purity of the breed) and inoculate against parasites (including prevention of heart worm, tapeworm, fleas, and ticks).
Environment: The natural environment needs to be protected from those selfish creatures that seek to exploit our natural resources for their own selfish gain.
Campaign Finance Reform: Political parties will receive $1 for each vote received in each election. In keeping with welfare distribution rules, political parties that have achieved major party status will be deemed vote-rich and ineligible to receive public financial support.
Affordable Housing: The erection of low-cost housing provides stray dogs a place to stay at night. Affordable housing will protect vulnerable creatures from being preyed upon by preditory animal control units.
Funding the NEA: We have enough pictures of dogs playing poker. I support the Canine Anti-Defamation League effort to broaden dog art. We need to diversify the image of the canine breed. Dogs playing chess. Dogs playing croquet. We must break the cycle of discrimination.
|Gene Kirschner||$1.00||Huzzah! Our first contribution for a better America!!|
|Cat Anti-Defamation League||$20.00||Contribution made if promise to not run, nor accept nomination.|
|Tweetie||$0.50||In return for selecting her to be vice-presidential candidate.|
|Bill Gates||$1,000,000.00||"If I can be a billionaire, why shouldn't Spot be the President"|
|National Animal Humane Society||$5.00|
|Tasselhoff Jazz Kirschner||
|A great moral support from the youth of America|
In ConclusionIts a great country! Vote for a modern America! Vote for Spot! Dogs Rule! Cats Drool!
SpotAnd just to prove I am not a dry humorless politician, check out my bag of jokes.