Spot

for

President

Spot ,the wonder dog, has done extensive research into constitutional law and is amazed at how enlightened our forefathers were to not place any restrictions (other than age limit) on who could run and be elected to the highest elected office of the executive branch of our fine country. Bringing new meaning to "liberty and justice for all", it is now clear that a canine that is born in this country can aspire to be President of the United States of America.

Introduction

Spot offers the electorate a true choice for those in favor of diversity and tolerance. If elected, you will have the first black, female, and non-human President in the history of our great nation. Some of my opponents want you to believe that this country is not ready for so much change at one time. They are stuck in the past, along with Adolph Hitler, Ghengis Khan, and Attilla the Hun. We could go on (for example, Count Dracula, but we believe you get the point). Running for President in the year 2000, Spot is the only candidate qualified to solve the Year 2000 problem.

Recently, Spot has given several interviews for the good of mankind. Read them and be enlightened.

An enlightening interview with Canines 'R' Us
Bow Wow Walters Talks with Mr. Spot

Platform Position on Issues facing the American Electorate

Civil Rights: All creatures deserve the protection granted by the U.S. Constitution - even those damn cats deserve a fair trial before we dunk them in tar.

Capital Punishment: No cat shall be put to sleep without due process of law. The test of innocence is by "trial by dunking". If the cat drowns when dunked in tar, it will get life in the pound. If it survives, the cat will be put to sleep.

Cradle to grave life insurance: Government provided insurance provide reproductive services (spade or neuter all creatures without papers to control population explosion and to protect the purity of the breed) and inoculate against parasites (including prevention of heart worm, tapeworm, fleas, and ticks).

Environment: The natural environment needs to be protected from those selfish creatures that seek to exploit our natural resources for their own selfish gain.

Campaign Finance Reform: Political parties will receive $1 for each vote received in each election. In keeping with welfare distribution rules, political parties that have achieved major party status will be deemed vote-rich and ineligible to receive public financial support.

Affordable Housing: The erection of low-cost housing provides stray dogs a place to stay at night. Affordable housing will protect vulnerable creatures from being preyed upon by preditory animal control units.

Funding the NEA: We have enough pictures of dogs playing poker. I support the Canine Anti-Defamation League effort to broaden dog art. We need to diversify the image of the canine breed. Dogs playing chess. Dogs playing croquet. We must break the cycle of discrimination.

Comparison to my opponent.

My campaign is busy putting together a chart to contrast my policies against my opponent Socks (the cat). This should make it clear how different my positions are from the current White House administration. Send money so this bold movement in grass-roots democracy can be expanded and we can enlighten the populous so we can prevail!

Disclosure of campaign contributions

Contributor	Amount	Notes
Gene Kirschner	$1.00	Huzzah! Our first contribution for a better America!!
Cat Anti-Defamation League	$20.00	Contribution made if promise to not run, nor accept nomination.
Tweetie	$0.50	In return for selecting her to be vice-presidential candidate.
Mark Glewwe	$1.00
Diana Glewwe	$1.00
Bill Gates	$1,000,000.00	"If I can be a billionaire, why shouldn't Spot be the President"
National Animal Humane Society	$5.00
Tasselhoff Jazz Kirschner	NA	A great moral support from the youth of America

Note: I have instructed my campaign to not take any contributions in excess of 1 Zillion Dollars. Who knows, maybe I can get matching funds from the currently corrupt government. Foreign contributions will only be accepted in US Dollars.

In Conclusion

Its a great country! Vote for a modern America! Vote for Spot! Dogs Rule! Cats Drool!

Spot

And just to prove I am not a dry humorless politician, check out my bag of jokes.